Can your life change in 6 months?

Oh yes, it can.


This shooting happened several months ago, in a very tiring and unusually hot afternoon: I needed a nice backdrop for the outfit that would – even remotely – recall the temples on the skirt. I was satisfied with the results, but ended up using another set of pictures (see it here ).
Now, these pictures look so alien to me – it’s like looking at another person.

I should really start counting time from October 2013: that’s when I had a motorbike accident resulting in two fingers broken, a surgery and over 40 days of wearing a cast. That was without doubt the lowest point of all: while at first I thought it was not a big deal, it turned out to be tiring, painful and frustrating, and also quite depressing. There is a photo of me and my brother Nic on instagram, where I am basically hiding behind him: such posture only meant I was retreating into myself, being uncharacteristically shy. It sounds normal now: I was on top of my game when I (literally) went onto the ground. How could I expect to remain my happy self?
So, as I’m not the one to be satisfied with only one problem, I decided to have my braces fitted at my age. So not only I had health issues and constant visits to the doctor, I also became “Ugly Betty” overnight. 😀

December came, the cast went off, but other issues were waiting: friends leaving, even friends dying, work overload, decorating a new apartment… New Year came, and something in me decided that change was going to come.


With my braces, the first effect was to have difficulties while eating – which lead me to the beginning of a big weight loss. Simultaneously, my whole posture and attitude have shifted. New friends arrived, enriching my life in so many ways. The idea of this blog was conceived timidly out of love/friendship of a very special guy. I even changed my hair color: from golden blonde to a strawberry, almost brunette-streaked dark blonde – and everyone knows that when a woman changes her hair, she has changed or feels the need to.

A very dear friend described it best: “your carefree, smiley, happy-go-lucky self blossomed”. Or, in other words, I learned again to have fun.


The idea of a blog was very foreign to me. For starters, I am not your typical blogger: I’m not a model, I have a very defined style that regardless of the direction it takes, always remains ladylike and (horror!) classical, and I was always a very private person. Yet it appealed like no other: I always loved fashion, but honestly, my change of dress size meant endless new possibilities, and above all – going out of my comfort zone. I have noticed mostly positive reactions, defining me “different” (even when that meant “plus size”, a term which I loath, it was still something new) but I’ve also received a big wave of negativity. I was never the one to pay attention to haters or negative people, so I will not dwell on it – but I’ve learned a valuable lesson: friends who love you will always want you to become the best version of yourself. Those who are not really your friends will use any means available to bring you and your enthusiasm down. So thank you, my dear haters, I have learned who my friends are, and have eliminated toxic waste in the process. 😀


My IG followers were growing, and one thing was clear: I was receiving wonderful response mostly from foreign countries. It might be because I chose to write in English (but worry not my fellow Italians: I am thinking of including an Italian version of the blog come September) but mostly it has something to do with women sending me emails full of happy thoughts for finally seeing a “normal” woman wearing Vogue-featured clothes.

I am very grateful for all the people who have entered my life in the last 10 months: they have empowered me, enriched me, have given me courage to go beyond my limits and constantly push me to be the best myself I can be. 
Thank you for your love, for your everyday messages, phone calls, emails, or simply your smiles. I am smiling because of you. 


I saw these photos a few days ago and the one I prefer is this, where I’m smiling. It is rare, it is awkward because of the braces, but it reflects the new me. Everything that kills me, makes me feel alive!

Lately, I’ve been, I’ve been losing sleep
Dreaming about the things that we could be
But baby, I’ve been, I’ve been praying hard,
Said, no more counting dollars
We’ll be counting stars


#ootd here: skirt and top Dolce & Gabbana, shoes Tom Ford 

17 Comments on Everything that kills me makes me feel alive

  1. Cubanita_31
    July 13, 2014 at 1:27 pm (5 years ago)

    Beautiful outfit and I love the story! It’s always a pleasure looking at your beautiful and colourful posts. I believe life is beautiful and no matter what we should die with a happy heart. Warm regards from a faithfully IG follower

    • ladyviolante
      July 14, 2014 at 8:49 am (5 years ago)

      Thank you my darling, your comments never fail to put a smile on my face. I’m honoured by having you follow me 🙂

  2. tskottmyhre
    July 20, 2014 at 8:51 pm (5 years ago)

    Oh, my goodness! Reading your post was like reading the story of my own life for the last six moths or so, minus the braces and the accident. I know how you feel as you all the sudden was “Ugly Betty” as regards to the braces as I got braces when I was at my second year in high school and everybody was finished with braces ages ago. All the sudden I felt like the ugly duckling, but I’m very happy that I did it because my teeth look so much better now! But that was just a sidetrack! The last six months I have felt a little depressed and had such little energy without any obvious reason, but lately with summer and a lot of time to think I have figured out that moving to a new place probably has much of the blame. It sounds weird that a place that you live can have so much effect on you, but I guess I’m a sensitive person and I need to have “life” around me (where I live now is so peaceful and it’s like the landslide, but I have figured out it’s not for me, I need to live in a city!) but I feel that I have drifted apart from who I am and I have forgot what I like to do and what I find fun. Today I just got my new place which will be blessing and I think I will finally come back to life again and to start to feel like myself. I can’t wait and this summer I have seen little glimpse of who I used to be and I’m looking so much forward to feel like that person again.

    I love when you posts your beautiful pictures, you always look amazing and the backdrop is always stunning! I love how IG is such a community and that you can see pictures from people all over the world and comment on what others are wearing. It sounds so superficial, but IG makes my day so much better when you or somebody other who has fabulous style posts an outfit! Thank you for putting yourself out there. I’m sure many people envy you, but you live and you learn, so those who are your true friends will stick around!

    • ladyviolante
      July 22, 2014 at 1:55 pm (5 years ago)

      I’ve read your story with much interest: it is indeed curious how people’s lives can follow similar paths.
      Change is good, I am fully convinced. And you know how they say, it’s always the darkest before dawn! So my wish to you, with all my heart, is to find peace and happiness following your new life choices!
      Thank you so much for your wonderful words – it’s always so heart warming to see other women who like my own choices and comment on them without malice. The world needs more of that!

      • tskottmyhre
        July 22, 2014 at 8:20 pm (5 years ago)

        Yes, I think that one need change from time to time in order to grow and to experience new and exciting adventures. I love that saying and I find it to be so true! I’m love a good quote and I think that a quote can offer much insight! Thank you so much, you are so sweet! I know that life from now on and forward only will get better, so I’m looking forward to it with much joy!
        Of course, I think there are so many mean spirited humans out in the world, and with all these horrible things happening, all one can do is be positive, encourage and applaud others. I try to have a positive outlook on everything and to make others happy and if I can light up somebody’s day by saying how pretty they look I think it’s well worth it!

        Have a fab day!

  3. Laviedemaxime
    July 22, 2014 at 6:18 am (5 years ago)

    I adore you! and I’m so happy you decided to start blogging because your IG pictures just weren’t enough for me! Thanks to you I dare to wear more color and feel beautiful ! So thanks again because it is indeed wonderful to have a ‘normal’ woman wearing all the clothes that every girl dreams about! ^^
    big kisses and lots of love


    • ladyviolante
      July 22, 2014 at 1:57 pm (5 years ago)

      Darling, how sweet of you, you are adorable too and I am really rooting for you and your new self! I can see you are happier, so it’s beautiful!
      I am happy if my choices inspire or empower someone else to go beyond the cliché of “only models can do things”. Models are beautiful, but I see myself as real, and I hope that can be seen from my pictures. Much love to you!

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